There’s nothing worse than having to take a crap at work, especially with the toilet paper they have equipped in the stalls. Maybe my poor hiney has been pampered with Charmin’s toilet paper with the lotion and aloe in it, but it doesn’t take to kindly to the John Wayne paper at work.
Since I like my privacy, I go to the handicap stall because it’s in the corner. And if anyone is familiar with a handicap toilet, the thing sits about 3 story’s above normal. That make’s it hard to do your business. I can’t imagine some guy in a wheel chair having to take a crap with his legs dangling. The angle is all wrong. So instead of a smooth transition of solids to the bowl, you snag a few bumps in the road. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not nice and clean as it is at home. Instead I’m sitting there wiping forever as if I’ve never done that process before (like the 3 sea shells from Demolition Man). People that walk in probably think there’s a guy in the stall that uses a roll and a half to get clean. The issue with using so much toilet paper is that you wipe your poor butt raw.As the day goes on, my butt starts itching. And I’m thinking to myself, “I know I wiped myself good. There’s no goodies left back there to surprise me later.” And you know what it is? It’s my butt healing itself. It’s the worst feeling ever, okay, maybe not the worst but having an itchy butthole isn’t fun. Luckily I have this stuff here at home called Miracle II Neutralizer Gel that I’ll be putting on later tonight to sooth the savage beast. I think it’s the prayer in it that helps my butt (honest, that is the first ingredient in all Miracle II products). Tomorrow it’ll be like I never had this little incident.
Our little family currently consists of Darryl, me, along with our pups Lucas & Lily. We've been together for 14 years now, and we love every minute of it. I enjoy all types of crafty things such as knitting, crocheting, photography, sewing, and making cards. Darryl enjoys gaming (both PC and PS3), playing guitar, cooking, and just veggin out. Lucas and Lily just love to sleep, eat, and pets.
For you butt everyone else will have it burned into their minds forever!!!
(thats so final)
I think we both know what the problem is. When eating right you should only have to go once a day.
Dude, what is it with you and your buttocks? I know more about your tush than I do about my hubby’s hiney. And as Krystal noted this will be burned into my mind for all time.
Okay just for the record I did protest this subject matter… however since Darryl and I both post I didn’t think it was fair to take away one of his favorite topics. Just be thankful you don’t get the unedited version like I do. :0)