This is as monumental of a post as it was for me to bring firends together at break time at my old stomping grounds (except I’ll try not to leave). At my new job there are two buildings: 1 that’s the main office and the other that used to be a doctors office. I’m currently housed at the ex-doctor’s office and it apparently has a history of bug issues. It kind of makes me wonder, how do we not know that God wanted someone to make a nice shelter for the bugs? We currently have a bad fly issue and I mean real bad. These aren’t your ordinary flies either, these are huge monsters that could carry a turd away instead of snacking on it. There’s a woman I work with that finds these flies downright disgusting; we’ll call her “Hammy” in this story.
On Thursday, throughout the day you would hear the “thwack” of paper hitting desks, windows, and computer screens as Hammy tried to kill these flies. To get a mental picture, imagine a lady with a big butt, gigantic breasts, that wears small shirts and tights. Frightening eh? Well this was comedic genius for me. Not only could I tell her distain for flies, but I witnessed a fat action fighter in the midst of battle thwarting flies from another dimension. I laughed to hard between her breathing hard and talking about how nasty flies are that I; for the first time; had tears welling up in my eye’s. Later on that day when Hammy had counted off the 21 fies that she killed, I decided to take out my fake fly in an ice cube and put it in my water. I took my water jug into her office and said, “Hey Hammy, check this out.” I held up my water bottle and she said, “Oh that is so gross. I hate flies, they are so disgusting. How did it get in there?” I made up some nonsense and she believed me, so I made it a point to drink my water whenever she was around. I really wanted to take up all the dead flies and strategically place them in and around her desk, but a calmer head prevailed…………………..
……………..till today. I placed my fake dog poop in an unconspicuous spot to give Hammy a reason why flies were in the building. She never saw it, so I took it up before the owner of the company I work for came into the building. This is what I have decided to do though: buy some Morning Breeze and hide it in the girls bathroom to make them think something has died in the building somewhere. This office only has a single men’s and women’s bathroom, so it’ll filtrate through the office pretty good. I just need to be able to keep a straight face, cause I was laughing my ass off when Hammy was attacking the flies. She even asked me if I was laughing at her.
Wish me luck, I can’t wait. Being the youngest buck in that place I sure do have my work cut out for me with livening that place up with “strange and bizarre occurrences” that they never thought of. I love starting new jobs.
Our little family currently consists of Darryl, me, along with our pups Lucas & Lily. We've been together for 14 years now, and we love every minute of it. I enjoy all types of crafty things such as knitting, crocheting, photography, sewing, and making cards. Darryl enjoys gaming (both PC and PS3), playing guitar, cooking, and just veggin out. Lucas and Lily just love to sleep, eat, and pets.
