My superior at work today brought in some McDonalds sausage biscuits this morning. Well, he bought 3. By the end of the day he only had one left and it just sat on the counter all day. I suggested to him that he hide it somewhere for a week or 2, so it’d get real nasty. That way, when he decided to buy breakfast again he could shove that back in the bag and offer it to someone. He didn’t find it to appealing as I did. I was rolling at just the thought of someone staring at a very old, cold, and hard biscuit.
Kinda reminded me of a time in highschool when I hid 2 milks in my locker for a week. Who woulda thunk that after one measly week at ‘over room temperature’ that they would’ve soured and clumped? See, after a week of being in my locker (Monday to a Monday, one chocolate and one white), those things puffed out and were weighty. I just casually stuck them back in the cooler when I bought my lunch. What I didn’t know was that some redneck (who could’ve and would’ve kicked my ass) got ahold of the chocolate milk. Also, a football team member got the white milk. Here’s how their stories went down.The Redneck: His name was Ronald and he told me that he noticed the milk seemed rather warm, but lunch milk always seemed that way. So he opened it up; and his brother next to him smelled it before he noticed anything; and took a big ol’ swig. He said he spit it out all over the table and then went up to the lunch ladies, threw the milk at them, and then demanded a free milk along with his money back (which would be what, 50 cents?). He told me he that when he heard that I was the one that did it that he wasn’t mad about it anymore, but if it had been anyone else, he would’ve kicked their ass. I’m lucky I’ve had that effect on people (….counts my blessings).
The Football player: His name was Zak and can you believe it, he actually got white milk? Anyway, he just told me that he opened it up and hte smell warned him away immediately. See why I put his story last? I guess I could’ve put his first to build anticipation, but his story really sucks, just too boring.
I’ve been lucky throughout my life that people don’t get mad at me when I pull some stunts, especially when they can whoop up on my hiney.
Tags: random thoughts, silly, work