He started digging really quickly and with great intensity until he pulled back with a big fat gray mole in his mouth.

I said, “Drop it!” and he dropped it on the ground immediately. The poor critter was close to death, cause its hind legs were moving. I had to quickly say “good boy” to Luke so he would know what he did wasn’t bad. Well as I went in closer to look, Lucas darted down real quick and he had that mole right back in his mouth. This time when he dropped it, it wasn’t moving.

I think his taste of blood he got while kenneled at the vet gave him that lust for furry flesh. He apparently found a nest of baby bunnies and devoured them.

Silly dog.

Crashing Before Big Papa

okay okay, sleeping animals are cute, but coupled with sleeping spouses is just beyond cute!

That happened tonight when he tried to hump me. See, I saw him get his second wind and come at me at full speed. I usually dodge him and grab his toy and he’ll shake the shit out of it. Nope not this time. He jumped up at me and I turned to my side and I felt his front legs grab me. I was like ‘what the jeff you doin’?’ and I realized in a split second he was trying to hump me.

So I threw him to the side, grabbed his head and humped at his face (ya know, to see how he liked it). He didn’t care for that and came at me again, this time from the front. So I threw him down again and got behind him to give him a taste of his medicine. He really REALLY didn’t like that (he tried to nip at me). When he came at me the last time, I decided that instead of stooping to his level I put the claw to his neck and put him down on the floor on his back. I let him lay there till he calmed down.

So glad he’s neutered cause you know his dong would be all flopping about while squirting nastiness all over the place. Not to mention MY CLOTHES!!!

So gross in all ways.

He is not my dog when he steals food off the counters or the garbage can… he is not my dog when he runs around the house barking like a mad dog just because of some squirrels… he is not my dog when he try’s to sniff my butt for no reason…

he is not my dog when he refuses to walk properly on his leash… he is not my dog when he consistently squeaks his toys when I’m on the phone… he is not my dog when he farts in the bedroom and it smells really really bad… he is not my dog when he eats his carrots in my shoe and leaves little pieces behind

This is most certainly Darryl’s dog!

To me that’s weird.

I don’t know if we’ll change how we talk to Luke when we have a child or it’ll just keep on keepin on. Don’t know, the topic just crossed my mind and thought I’d share.

Look past the one eyed dog squinting in front… Scrappy is the dog in the back

That squinty dog is Jersey

and this little guy is Cisco… so cute and sweet!

Well happy Saturday everyone!

We cut Lucas’s hair today and it looked really good

We took him to the quicky dog wash, but Lucas didn’t really want to go

Lucas slipped out of Darryl’s hands as he was trying to attach his choke chain to the tub because he was really scared of the water

Lucas pushed open the door to the quicky dog wash place and he ran for it

Darryl took off after him at full speed, however I’m not that fast so I was far far behind them

Darryl finally caught Lucas using cheese as bait

Darryl was pissed off so Lucas got a very quick bath

Now Lucas acts really skittish of Darryl

Those are the facts.

* Darryl’s elaboration *

Basically what she said above, with the exception that either Lucas thought I was playing with him (by chasing him) or he knew he was just being a butt. Either way, running around like a mad man at full speed yelling “Lucas” in town going into a neighborhood is not my idea of fun. And yes, that really pissed me off. I sound like an asthmatic smoker with congestion since I was running at full blast. My heart was on fire.

When we got back to the dog wash, we figured out that we lost $15 dollars, during the chase. Margaret found $5 bucks, but the rest was gone. I was pissed.

So yep, that’s kind of it. My chest and lungs hurt from all the weasing and coughing (still!!!). Chalking this one up to another time that Lucas screwed up a morning, the first being him eating chicken bones from the trash. That pissed me off too.

My hope for Lucas was that he would get along with all dogs, but that is sadly not the case. We are going to try the dog park again, but not anytime soon.

There’s this one dog that’s usually tied up in the front yard while it’s owners are doing yard work and it wasn’t tied up this morning. It was running down it’s driveway towards us. Mind you, we were on the other side of the street, so it would have had to cross the street to reach us, but he never made it. He was so focused on us that he ran into a passing elderly care van. The dog clipped the front of the vehicle and then basically wrapped itself around the rear tire until it fell off and the van stopped.

The poor animal let out a painful cry and I took off up the owner’s driveway. Margaret told me that the dog whimpered for a couple of seconds while doing light spasms and then all was silent. The poor animal died. All the while I’m up ringing the doorbell thinking the animal might be alive.

The female owner came out and I told her that her dog got hit by the van that was stopped on the road and she was confused. Who wouldn’t be? A stranger, ringing your doorbell telling you that you’re dog got hit and might be alive? She asked me about the color and I confirmed it and you could see the grave look overcome her face. She then saw her dog lying in the road and we started up the driveway. I kept telling her that we heard if cry and hopefully it’s just hurt and is okay. She said that the dog has chewed through some of their leashes and was afraid something like this was going to happen. I’m assuming she was hoping what I was hoping and that’s the dog was hurt and alive.

When we reached the animal she knelt down and started crying immediately touching the animal saying, “corgi? are you breathing? are you alive? Corgi?” Broke our hearts. Lucas didn’t know what was going on. Margaret said he wanted to go near the dog, but she didn’t allow it, because he wouldn’t understand. The lady then asked me if I’d carry her dog up to her house, which I did. I felt bad that the dogs head was just lying limp off my arms, because I was carrying it with my left arm under it’s legs and my right arm holding it’s hind quarters. There was no blood and guts, just a shell of an animal. When we reached the house the lady told me that she wanted me to set it somewhere; I couldn’t make out what she was saying; and she said she was going to open the garage. At that point I knelt down and rested the dogs head on my knee while I held it, because I didn’t want to show any kinds of disrespect to the owners or the animal. I talked to the dog a bit and did a short prayer. I don’t remember what all I said, but I knew I asked for God to comfort the dog and the family. She opened the side door to her garage and had a blanket laid out for me to lay her dog down on. She was so torn up that it broke my heart.

I shook her hand apologizing that we had to meet under these types of circumstances and that I was terribly sorry for her loss. I told her our address and let her know that if she needed anything that she could stop by any time and that we didn’t have a local phone number to reach us. I felt like I should’ve done something more, but I was helpless to do anything. Honestly though, what can you do other than try to comfort the other person? She asked me for my name and I gave it to her, doubt she will remember it, but that’s okay. I’m gonna get some flowers, so Margaret and I can give to the family for the loss.

I honestly don’t know what’s worse, sitting there watching the animal die or going to tell the owners. Margaret said she couldn’t have done what I did and it was easier for her to do what she did. I feel the same, I couldn’t have watched the animal die, because that image would be stuck in my mind forever.

The howl it let out, man, I will never forget that sound. Poor guy, he was just wanting to say hello to another fellow hound.

Well, that’s how our morning began. Very tragic and sad. We walked home, said a prayer together, and then got ready for work.

*Small Prayer*
God, please rest the soul of the poor pup that died this morning and please give comfort to the family that owned him. I pray that out of the grief, they’ll remember the good times they had with their dog and will celebrate the life it had. I know you’ll work the miracles that you always do and will open a door for the family in an unlikely place for them to find happiness once again. Amen.

Dogs have Anal Glands. Sometimes these need to be expressed.

Now that I’m done laughing I’m going to figure out what this means…